Do you feel it too?

Hello illusion (reality)!

I welcome you in my world; beckoning you to come closer and sit next to me. Let us talk and ponder; let us dream and create; let us deconstruct.

You see, I’ve been thinking, which already is strange by standards of 21st century, but I did anyway – I do not really live.

No,no,no – wait, listen! I do not mean post traumatic teen-age-coming-of-age angst. Thanks God, I am old enough to leave this nightmare behind me. I am mostly hinting on the illusion that we have become – social networks, standards, fashion, tons of information that you do not need to know or care to know. Decorations of real life – pictures on Instagram and virtual “Happy birthday cards”. Blogs that guide you through all – how to eat, what to wear, how to sleep or drink water. What sex is, femininity, masculinity, brutality etc.

Oh, my God, without your clever advice I would not know how to function in this complex, cruel world where everyone and everything is hell bent on destroying and damaging my soft, tender psyche.

Yeah, right…

You are corrupting it. Voodoo psychologist, fashion critics, new-age religions, mediation practices, fitness-instructors – god damn guidance on every little thing that I do. I am surprised that breathing is still my own thing. Oh, wait – no, it isn’t. You have techniques on that too. What a pleasure.

That said – where am I? Do I think for myself? Do I analyse my behavior or world reaction on it – myself? Do I wear and eat and watch and read what I want? Am I creative? Can I be productive or ingenious?

Can “I” be?

Ah, existential crisis. “Smells like a teen spirit”. However, so topical nowadays. We are lost, so thoughtfully that we do not even realize it.

And here – in this exact moment – comes in lizard brain. A tiny little thing that cannot be lied to. Pure instincts on a plate.

You know, dear reality, when to become angry and when to run. No amount of brainwashing-happy-rainbows can block you.

Evolve they say – beyond you. We need to learn how to control over primal instincts (but are played exactly on them).

Stop! Stop! Stop!

Meditate, train and practice – we know better, we shit gold.

Ha!

I do not want to change the world. I do not care for society.  I honestly adore google and thousands of links that shows me the world.

Nonetheless, too much of you commenting on that. Too much of you spoon-feeding opinions I cannot stomach.

And now, my emotions and reactions that were suppressed for so long suddenly need a way to get out.

I just feel my lizard scratching my skull from the inside.

So, do you feel it too?
Lizarein Bain